A Look Within

There are thoughts I do not dare…
With my closest kin, even share…
Some are dark, and some are bright…
Filled with hope, filled with fright….

Weary that I might be judged…
Too vain and too proud to be ascertained…

Others are but a mirror for you to see…
Who and what, you have become to be…
Too ugly at times, maybe…
My reflection, even too callous for me…

Too self absorbed as the next, truth to be told…
No more or less giving, but honest, brutal and bold…
Too proud and egotistical to follow…
The religious poison, I refuse to swallow…

In heaven or in hell will I reside?
Whose rules will I abide?
Whose is the hand that holds the string?
Fate of us all, who will bring?

Who should I be, which path should I take?
Will I sell out, my soul forsake?

My beliefs, for ages instilled…
In my brain, eternally ingrained…

How will we ever know?
What will we have for ourselves to show?
What is my purpose, what legacy will I leave behind?
Will the judgment be fair, evenhanded and kind?

Unanswered questions, far too many…
Source of truth, I know not of any…

Believe in one, If I must…
Only myself, I can trust…
Instinct, wisdom and compassion…
My guiding lights through this progression…
Adaptive, strong, and filled with love…
I aspire to be, all above…!

Dare to live...

I often wonder…
What of me will remain…
I often wonder…
Will it be a loss or a gain…
Is there a purpose to living this life…
Or, will it all perish in vain…

Futile exercise it seems…
But I cannot refrain…

Some believe in heaven and hell…
And this belief, they faithfully maintain…
Blind faith, a chronic excuse…
Unwilling to question, unable to explain…
Following the path of least resistance…
Devoted, committed, yet insane…

Ironic, this game of life…
The answers hidden, they forever remain…
I know not the answer, nor mastery I claim…
A cynical seeker, filled with inquisitive thoughts I cannot contain…

I know what I know, and I know what I don’t…
Slave of contentment, I haven’t been, and I won’t...

Life is too short, a cliché, I know…
My passion for life, forever will grow…

The beauty, is the mystery of the unknown…
An intricate puzzle, so many pieces not shown…

With each passing moment, the hunger mounts...
It is not the destination, but the journey that counts…

Dare to live, to the very last…
Learn from your sacred past…
Embrace what comes, break the rigid cast…
Swim in the ocean of life, for it is vast…
Dare to live, to the very last…
For in a blink of any eye, your “future” is “past”…
Every minute, every second, a gift…
Make them last, make them last!!!

Solitude

The room is dark…
Void of light…

Senses heightened…

But no sight…

My eyes closed, my face a frown…
Random thoughts, left and right...

Glass of ale, almost empty…
Helping to lessen my fright…
Afraid of what has been…
And what might…
The war is not yet over…
So many battles left to fight…

The taste is bitter…
Jaws clench tight…
As the dark liquid burns…
Thoughts sore to a new height…

The mind’s eye opens…
In search of light…
Your image comes to mind…
Pure sense of delight…

A new sense of consciousness I gain…
As the warm ale passes through each vein…

As surroundings become more blur…
Ever so self aware I remain…
As I slowly shed the fear…
A peaceful calm I gain…

The present dissolves more with every sip…
Reality vanishes as I lose my grip...

Intoxicated by the thoughts of you, and not the ale…
These thoughts, like fresh air, I inhale…

The peace that overcomes me is beyond compare…
No longer do I feel the sadness, or the despair...

In flesh, in my thoughts, or in my dreams…
You are the only answer it seems…

The past, present, or the future matter none…
As I forsake all others but one…!